


Indiana Jones and the Race for the Sword of Fire

by LavenderPixie



Category: Barney & Friends, Indiana Jones, Sesame Street - Fandom, Teletubbies - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-11
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:04:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderPixie/pseuds/LavenderPixie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexa Vaughn (who is also ME in reel life lol) goes on a life changing adventure witg Indiana Jons from the movies like Riders of the lost ark and Kingdom of crystal skill. together the duo must race the League of Evil for the legundary Sword of Fir!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. AMUSEMENT PAKR

**Author's Note:**

> hi i'm alexa vaughn and i'm 14 years old and i'm really pretty and talented so I thot I wood use some of dat talent and write a THRILLING fan fictitious about Indiana jones 5. also I hope yoiu like da story feel free 2 leave comets and good reviews! there will be 50 chapters so buckle up and get readi 4 a hug adventure with me and indina johns!

I waked up in my bed 1 mourning and sighed cause i sleeped all the way to eleven am and the sun shining on me and my pikn bed spred. i giggld and steped out of bed but accidently put my fot on mi scool year book. "Oops",! i said and piced up the book and set it on my dresser witch was full of my hot sexy close dat i wore everday. today i choose a nic mini skit that shode my lean hot legs and also an lavender tak top (lavender is my favorite colon) . I wok down the stares all sexy-like and my dad say "OH Alexi we gun be late for amusement park"!  
"amazement park? like da place wif the mary go around and the roller toaster"  
"yesh" say dad "hurry and eat lunch so we may go"!  
"un sec" I ask "can my boyfiend Tucker go?"  
dad look around all worryish and replym "non becuz we only hav two tikes to da fair! if we had three fare tickets then tuckr could hav cum along"  
I sniffle and a tier rolled down my soft, pink checks. "Dad" I said, "If Tucker cunt go to amovement park, than I wont go aether!" I feeled suicidal.  
"Oh ok sweaty, then ile stay at teh house and u and Tucker can go by urselfs".  
"OMG thnx daddy!" i yelled and gave him a bare hug. dad laughef and said "u take care now! be bak for super! were having ham buggers and french fres"  
"buy" i said, and den left 2 get Tucker...  
After I got tucer form his manshon (were booth rich and poplar in our scool) we wet 2 teh park and first think fist we went 2 da ferris well. It was much fun goin round and getting reel high and so romantic tucker putt his soft hand on my leg. And i lean n 2 kiss him when suddenli a loud BOM eccoed thru the fairies wheel! tucker gasps and I gets reel close 2 him. when out of nowear big PUPPLE AND GREEN DINOSAUR come out of nowear (like Drastic Park movie except dis on was purple) and i gasp. it was BARNEY form dat baby sho on the tv!!!!!!!  
"alexa vaughn" Barley said viscously  
"y y y yess?" i stuttered.  
"u hav the object we need, so u have 2 choices, u will give us eject KNOW or yule have 2 supper the con sequences!  
Barry the dino sore breath very stinky and i was not afred of him! I said" bring it boy! Whars da wurst u can doo!"  
Barney evilly grabbed Tucker and stick him in his moth and began to chew with his tooths! ever1 on furries whell screzmed in horr and tuck said his last words... "alexa u mus avenj me! an eye for a eye!" and barneh swallowing and he was nothing moore then a mammary.  
"Now dat i have kilt ur bf" said Barney "mayb u will reconsider ur choose! bring us object or u pay... secon time!" barney ran of in 2 da distence and his obese fat folds went up an dow as he ran.  
wen I finally got of ferrix wheel the ride operater was sniggering at my mascara which was leaking form my tears, and i ran crying to my car not caring anymore about my leakkng marinara or tucker or barney and jus want 2 end my lief and di.  
butt when I got 2 my car... man was standing there! He had a fedora hat and hot fecal hair... he was really musclar and had sex pack abs and a whipp in his pants packets... it was INIANA JONES!!!


	2. ARTEFACT OF HOLLY OREGON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indana jones explanes da quest 4 da Swored of Fier and otter stuff! Also dey go 2 da mall and a plot twist happns!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After I rote Chaper 1 i went to the mall and I thot it wold b fun to go up the down excavator but a mail cop stopped me and asked for my nam!!! OMG I thot the cope was gunna put me n hancuffs and anyways so dis chapper have evil mallcop pls enjoy

So India Jeans and I were in my car (witch was panted lavandar by the car place cause itd mi fav collar) and he was tolling me everthing that was going on.  
"Basikly ther is a new evil farce rising and they wants a weppon pourful enuf 2 distroy the entyre Untied Stats of Americium!!"  
"Waut webbon do u speek of?" i ask suspishosly.   
Indigo Jones pull out a Holly Bile (dat one book with the cross guy and gawd in it) and say "Look her at Gensis 3:24" and I did. The Holey Bibl ssaid "Afta he drove the man out, he place on east side of de Guardin of Odin an angle wif a flamign sword flashin bak and 4th to gard da tree of lyf" (IDK if I spilled all dat correkly so sorry).  
Indana Juan said "So after god kicked Atom and Eve outta Garden of Edith, he had an angle make shore they did not return wif a firey sord. Now..."  
"Lemme guess" I said sujestivly, "u beleev dis fire sort is stil on Plant Earth and now u gotta findit!"  
"Exactli" said Indanish Jonest. "And u hav da item we need n order 2 find it."  
At this point i got suspishus and said "Wait un sec hew do I no u r teh reel Iridium Jones and not a fak?"  
"Try me" said Doctor Jones  
"OK wut is da name of yor wyf" was my furst chalenjing questionnaire.  
"Mary-anne Ravinwould" which was rite.  
"Wat evil god do teh Thugy worshit" I continood.  
"Callie" said Dr. Junes which was also write.  
"OK" I said "Finale questionnaire, what anshit artifak killed Bellok in Riders of the Lost Art"  
"EZ" said Jones "That wood b da Ark of the Croissant"  
"OK so u r da reel Indian Jone! So what is it dat I hav that u need"  
"Well OK but what u hav is useless until we retreve sum lemonlade. Wear is da closet place 2 fidn lemonlade?"  
"Chikila at the mall" i sed. "C'mom less go!"

When we get 2 the mall we went to Chifila and I said "1 cup of lemonlade pls!" The casher looked at me and sayed "Oh sorey, sum guy just came n a few secinds ago and buyed ALL DA LAMINADE!"  
"Wat!?!?" I esclamed and I saw da stranj man running awai wit all da llamanaid. He was caring a guant stake knife. He had a grene auntenna (like one of them old pepol fones) and a tv on his stoma. And i realized it was DIPSY from the baby sho TELYTUBES!  
"Stahp rite now!" i yelled. Indenial Jones used his wipe to tri to snach awai da lemmynade but Dippy has a grip of irn. Dipsy laffed evilely and quackly jumped on da UP excavator, but BLOKED IT OF WITH A BARIER WITH SPIKS ON TOP! So Indiana jons said "Alexa precious we hav no choice but 2 go up da DOWN excavator!"  
So the 2 of us began 2 run up da DOWN excavator when suddenli da MALCOP starred 2 shat at us wit his shitgun! I lookd at him carefulli and reelised (plot twist) dat the mallkop was actualli TINKI WINKI (da pupple teletubbie but hes not levender if he was it wouldnt be my favorite cellar)  
Luckly we manajed 2 doj all da ballets he shat at us... but Dipstick was all da way n da pranking lot when we got outsde! Indana pull out his reveler gun and say "Uhoh we only got 1 shot!" I sad "Lemne try" and I took the gun and aimed for Dipso... and FIRED!   
The ballot hit Dupsi in da privy area betwixt da legs and he screamed in agoni, and he fel face first on 2 his stake nife, causing a larj bluddy puddle and leaking brain ooze everwhere. Ever1 in da parking lop begone 2 clap and chere me on. I ran up and snached da limolade.  
"Gud job" said Dr. Joens, "now, let's go! Were a step closer 2 da sord of fire!"


	3. THE SECRET MAP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indana Jones and Alexa go 2 find the "oject" form b4... but their is a surprize!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg first day of skool is comin up and my rude saster Isabel took my cloths so she cold wear dem on a daet even tho shes ugli no mattr wut she ware cuz she has no tru byueaty like me. oh well...

As we got n da car 2 leav da shoping maul I baked over Dipsys dead boddy ova and ova until ther was a larg puddle of bluud. ever1 n da parkin lot keeped claping an Tinky Wanky (who was steel n his maul copper owfit) bgan 2 cry and morn 4 his ded older bother. As we speeded out off da lot Tinki Winki shoutd "Ile git u 1 day, Aleca an Indiana Jonah!  
"Whatevs" I sed and dr jons and i both laughed with our pure wite and strat teeth becuz we werent pore like da telatubbies and poor hobos n the porjects and apartmets neer my houze.  
"OK now we hav da lemurlade butt wut r we gonn us it 4"  
Indiani Janes pulld out his iPhon 5 (like i sed were not por) and he showed me a pic he took wit da phon camra. The pic was of a peace of crumbled parchment wit a rip on the rite side of it, and it was veri old. "We r looking 4 dis rare piece of papyrus! it dates bak 2 anshit Ejipt."  
"Dat peace of platypus looks familial. Lemme show u somethig" an I pulled out MY iPhne 5 (i got it for Crispmas unlike broke homless kids who git nutin). i showd him a pic of my yearbook signature paige. It look teh exact same accept it had my fiends riting on it!  
"OMG thts it!" said Indiaa jones haply. "we haf 2 go get it, u c it has majic invincible ink on it that onli appiers when u pour somethink like leon juice on it."  
"o ok lets floor it and get 2 da house!"  
i slamed on the gas pedal and passed some hoboss wit carbord signs and mugs full of munny. India jones took out his gun (it turned out he has mor ballots n his pants picket) and shot da mug cussing shards of breaked mug 2 fly in hobos face and then indana jones put whip round der neck and draggd dem behind car until they ded. I also helped him by goring dem wif my car and runnign them ova.  
So after dat we made it 2 my hows. I helped put hobo ded bottles in2 da garby can and we went nside of my home and went 2 my room. I quicly took the yearnbook of mi dresser and show Docker Jokes the signify page, which he poored limanade all ova and suddenli der was a map of NU YORK CITE!  
"Of coors!" india jones gasped, "the next thing we need is in da Big Appel itself! Pack ur things, were gonna go on a vacashon!"  
"Woot!" I cheered but suddenli my meen older sister was n my doorway. Her neam is Isabelle and she is a big BICTH to me an takes my cloths all da time becuz she onli has pore pepol cloths. And she pulld out a gun an pointd it at me!  
"Ive jointed the Leage of Evvil so u will die and we will march ovr da wprld with da Sword of Frie!" I gasped at her butrayil but 2 b hones i kinda aspected it.  
But india jones said "Not 2day Isabelly! u loose!" an suddenli a motorcycl bust down the wall and Indy and I jumped on it and drove away form da house!  
"Th0x Mutt for saving us" said Indy Johns and da guy said "Np daddio" and i realized it waz MUDT WILLIANS (aka SHIA LEBOGH) frum Inda jomes 4 kingdum of de crastal skul! an he was hot jus like da movi! he was hottr den tuckr and probs richer 2 cuz all da loot and ipads an stuf he gets from his adventers wit Indiano.  
So all 3 of us were happi as cold b when all da suddn SOMEONE TRIED 2 SHIT US!


	4. MOTERCYCLE CHASTE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new groop of 3 excapes a bikr gang form sesamy stret! also a airport ride 2 NYC lol!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG skool starts 2morro!!! even tho i dont want 2 go i want 2 c my frens again like tucket (he didt die n reel life but we did broke up but were still fiends) and my new techers and da principle and stuf

OK so da bullt nearly hit Mud Wallyams n da hed but he duked reel quick even do he was drivig a motorsycle but he was real talentd and also hansum just like me accept ime a girl so teknikli yude cal me pretti not hansom. I turnt round and I saw who shat da billets... it was EMLO from SESAM STRETE (witch was anotha babe show, r u seeing da trend her???) Alamo was waring a leafer jackt and blue jens and otha things.. and i reelized dat elmo was ripiing of Matt Wileys outfut! Idistina Jugs took owt his wipe and flung it at da traffik lite, cauzing him 2 fly of mutt's moped and mutt and I lookd at each otha all romank-like. I reelized jus then dat mitt cold b my nu bf to maek up for Tuckr dying form Barlest teh dinosart. Anywayz bak 2 ininda jones basikly wut he did was swing bakwards and kiked Elmo RITE N DA FACE and elmo held on 2 da back tier 4 deer live evn tho it wuz burning hes red farry fingrs. inndadda johns kiked Emo repetedly in da face and Elmo began 2 screme 4 help and all og da sudden 2 mor mottobikes came out form behind da Burger Kind (wich is a restrant wear poor peopl work at 4 minimm wag) and on da bikes wer Elmos fiends from the sho, they're names r Cooky Monster and Grover. Butt it was 2 late for them to help Lemo becuz he had falln off da bike and wuz run over by a garby truck. Even so cocky meunester and Golfver zoomd thru and they were closing n on us very fast-like. Instanta Jons came up 2 us on teh martybike he stol from Elma and said "Alxea I think were done 4! it was a good run but nao da poor fokes from da league of evil are closing n and no refrijerators 2 hide inside of or nutin"  
I sed "WATE i have a good plan!" I took da leftova luminlade (we brot it in case me or Mutd Wooleyums got firsty) and I thru the container direckly at Gorver. It hit rite n the hed and he flew bakwards at 100 miles pr howr and he hit the front of the garby truck. Mutt pulld out knifs from his jaket jus like in Indi 4 kungfu of da crispy skull and thru the knif rite into Groter's hart causing instant deth.  
At dis point Kooky Moster was gettin really pised so he pulled out a litesaber and he zoomed reel close to our bike and slashed at our heds and i thot we wer domed! Butt suddenli out of nowher Indanties Jones pulled out his gun and got Crooky Mnsta RIHGT N DA HART and he fel of his bike ded and the garby truck ran ova his skul with a big CRUNCH and all three of us laughed and Mett and I almos kissd.  
But b4 we cold we had 2 go to da airport and get on da plain 2 New Yort Caty. We got 2 da airport and puzzledly ther was a parkin meter sittig n front of us and we didt have and quartrs 2 pout in. But ever1 knows that parkin meters are just greedy por pepl's way 2 get fre mony for prking (whih should b free) so Indanu Jons just shot da parking meter and lots of quartrs came flyng out. Suddenli lots of homelss peopl came runnin 4 da money so Mutt stabd dem and Indy shot em and I chocked them with a tekneek I learnd on the TV on a karaty sho.  
So we ran in2 the airport all excitd 2 get on da plane when all of the suddn on the intercom it said "Indani Jones Mutt Wollims and Alexa Vaugina to the front desk pl0x!" I looked over 2 the front desk and with a gasp I realized.. the owner of da airport was BARGEY THE DINOSAUR~!


	5. HEIRPLANE RIDE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indiana, me, and mupt go on plain ride ro escap the rath of bernie the dinosore. but there's a twiszt agen!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guis i no its ben fever... elmost there years in facet... i stopped writing fanfic an begin waching dragging balls z. butt i got said and nostaljik an deseeded too cum back and right nu chappie... so pls make shore to review and enjoy!

when the annosement cum on teh intercum i god reality scarred and i grapped on too mutz hans. he queased mi hand in responds. i relly licked mutt becase i cold tale taht he card abott me vairy munch. we go to front desk and their is BARNY THE DINGO and hes arms are crossd and his waring a wig and hes pretebnding to be recebchinist at font desk. Indiana Jnoes strats lagoon at him an can hadrly clam down and barley loked souper pissed! barny looked at us all siriius like and cross his eyes alike a agry person and begin to shot lewdly thru out heirprot thru his entercum.  
"AXEL VIRGGINA" he scramed and ever1 in the airpor suddenli fait becuz of hao lod bargey shot in2 mikeyphon.   
"MATT WELLIAMS" and all of the faintrs stat roling in der slep becauz barney voice is not like morning freemin insted is relly bad and crusty like marge simpson crossed with a hobo hoo is pore and belongs in govement FEMA capm.  
"an INDIANI JONS" said indy really cleaver like and immeditly wiped BARNEY RITE IN THE FACE. Barney ROALED supper mean intop mikrofun and all galss in the irport chattered in2 a mallon peaces. "RUNE EVEYBODY" anbd mutt grasped my left ass check and i screamed with lauffer and we all begun to run meanwhile Barney is not hippy witch waht parnk indy pool on him an barley putts on hes trace shows and tie teh notes an beckons 2 run. indy screamed GRAIL POWER and sudenly a YELLOW GOLW SURONDS HIM and indys hair turns yallo and we spot in awe lokign at hem.  
"what habben indy"? i say sujestivly. indy benign to explane "ok wel u see went i drink from the holly grain the grain spake iin tow m mind. and it say tha i cane hav one wish. and i recell a sho i saw on the tv bake at home calt dragane bull Z and i wish i can summon goku power and super saying. but i can only do it one tmie and i no rite now we r in grate dengar so i choice nao 2 activatay,"  
"oh rite" i say and indy scream "HAMI KAWMI RAHHHHH" and bug sprint ball cumming from his pams and suddenly barney was nuttin but a skeletor.   
but wait! his flesh gro back all spooky like and he grine at me and revel his big twist.  
"i have made deal with the snape form the guardin of eden" and we all drop our jaw in shoke.   
"you meen snack is steel round?" but mutt grab me nice like agin and put us on plain and we flied aweigh as fazz as we can.  
"few that was close on" indy say "too bad i waisted anime power today! when it truned out to be for no use"  
"whatevs' we all laughed and decidered to get some relacksashin becuz when we go to new yorkie citadel we new weed hav big bizzineis to aten 2.


End file.
